15 Months and Counting...

So we have reached the 15 month mark and still no baby. I truly never imagined that right now I would be blogging about my infertility struggles rather than posting newborn photos and talking about how amazing my child is. Life has a way of changing plans though and so instead of hiding from it, I am embracing it.

After my last post when I got such overwhelming support and a kick back to reality, I began to feel a little better. I am not going to lie, I am still hurt and I continue to have days when I feel I can't take it anymore but they soon pass. I am attempting to enjoy the free moments I can with Mike and to do all the things I know I won't be able to when we have a baby and these experiences and moments with my husband have been amazing. It's been a hard journey, one I don't wish upon anyone, but at the same time it's helped me grow and has brought Mike and I closer than ever. I know someday I am going to look back on this difficult time and thank god for making me go through such a hardship. I also know that Baby Ricci is going to be more loved and appreciated than they would have been without this trial. It's just a little difficult to see the big picture right now.

Since my last baby post, I was recommended a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. (thanks Brittany). I wish I had read this book sooner and think every woman whether they are trying to conceive or not should read it. I have been amazed at the things I didn't know about my body and the clues nature itself gives to you to help with conception. In reading this book I have been given new hope and options outside of drug therapy that I am going to start implementing. This means that while Mike and I were supposed to begin Clomid this week, we have decided to wait a few more months so I can make sure I have exhausted every natural option. I will also be starting acupuncture and massage therapy next week to help alleviate some of my stress. I am hoping this additional information and new plan will keep everything a bit more organic and a little Ricci will be here soon.

Thanks again to everyone who has been my support during this hard time. It has meant the world to me and I couldn't get through this without the listening ears, advice, real life experiences and your prayers. I leave you with a funny and true quote I found a while back that I just love. I guess I have an odd sense of humor. :)

Infertility: The Surefire Way to Alienate Friends, Destroy Your Sex Life, and Annihilate Your Financial Future

Grandpa Seeg

Barnard Seegmiller

08.29.1915-06.15.2010

My dear sweet Grandpa died yesterday at his home after one amazing life. We were blessed enough to be able to go to St. Geroge last weekend and say our goodbyes and grateful he was able to die peacefully surrounded by loved ones.

He achieved so much in his 94 years here and it was a honor to be his granddaughter. I will always think of him when I watch the Jazz, hear anything about WW2, make Grandma's rolls, talk about Corsica, run the Turkey Day 5K or drive through St. George. I know my Grandma was waiting on the other side ready to give him a big hug and some food and I am glad he has finally been reunited with his true love. Thanks for being such a wonderful grandpa and for always giving us a place to come home to. Mike and I are going to miss you so much!

ST. GEORGE -- Barnard H Seegmiller, age 94, passed away peacefully at his home on Tuesday, June 15, 2010, of causes incident to age. He was born on August 29, 1915, in St. George, Utah, to Hela and Mary Ann Platt Seegmiller. He married Deloris Sullivan on March 27, 1946, in the St. George Temple.

Barney was raised in St. George and graduated from Dixie Jr. College in 1936. A life-long learner, he was involved with the Institute of Continued Learning at DSC and enjoyed reading poetry, philosophy, history and religion. He completed an LDS mission to the Central States and had a strong faith in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

During WWII, Barney was a member of the Army Air Corps and served in the 57th Bomb Wing in North Africa, Italy, and Corsica. He maintained friendships with his fellow soldiers and attended many Bomb Wing reunions across the country. His memoirs have been published in a war journal.

Barney’s main occupation was ranching on Seegmiller Mountain (Arizona Strip). He shared his father’s love of horses. He was also employed as the Washington County assessor, a realtor, and was part owner of the Dixie Livestock Auction. He was a member of the St. George City Council, Washington County Sherriff’s Posse, and Lion’s Club.

In 1999, Barney and Deloris generously donated 33 acres of family farmland in the Washington Fields to the City of St. George to create the Hela Seegmiller Historic Farm, intended to provide a pioneer farm-life experience. This farm is a legacy to their ancestors.

Barnard is preceded in death by his wife, Deloris, brother, Donald, and infant sister, Mariamne. He is survived by his six children: Mary Ann Batt (Gordon) Enoch, Utah; Donalyn Sessions (Dee) South Weber, Utah; Scott Seegmiller (Joyce) Henderson, Nevada; Sally Brown (Rodney) Sandy, Utah; Kaye Judd (Daniel K) Orem, Utah; Corri Theobald (Phil) St George, Utah. Barnard is the grandfather of 29 grandchildren and 18 great grandchildren, with one due next week.

Services will be held on Saturday, June 19, 2010, at 11:00 a.m. in the St. James Chapel, 1095 East St. James Lane. Friends may call at the St. James Chapel on Friday, June 18, from 6:00-7:00 p.m. and on Saturday, June 19, from 9:30-10:30 a.m. Interment will be in the St. George Cemetery under the direction of Spilsbury Mortuary.

In lieu of flowers please consider a donation to the Hela Seegmiller Historic Farm: City of St. George Parks Department, 390 N 3050 E, St. George, UT 84790

Just another reason...

I adore The Sharing Place.

These were waiting for me when I got to work last night and completely made my day. After the difficult week I have had, these simple flowers completely made my day and were so thoughtful. Thanks Cec and Steph for always taking care of my mind, my body and my soul. Love you!

DTSB!

I just felt the need to write about what an amazing mom I have and how lucky I am to not only call her my mom, but my best friend. She is intelligent, hard-working, successful, honest, generous, selfless , determined, talented, beautiful, hilarious, thoughtful, creative, fun, athletic, adventurous, loyal and an incredible friend. Not only does she possess all of those traits but she runs marathons at 55, makes my house beautiful with her fabulous decorating skills, is a gourmet cook, gives so much of her time and self to The Sharing Place, is the best mother-in-law a guy could ask for, is the licorice aunt, is the best grandma to our doggies, will be the best "Mimi" to our future children and is always my listening ear whenever I need her (which is almost every day). My mom and I have definitely had our ups and downs but through everything, she has been my rock and has always been there for me no matter what. She continues to inspire me and makes me want to be a better person just by being herself. The best compliment I have ever received is "you are just like your mom" because she is who I want to be when I grow up.

I wouldn't choose the model or Time Magazine's woman of the year because I already have both and so much more in YOU! Love you Mom aka DTSB!

This is currently keeping me motivated...

and sane.

A few weeks ago I learned Mike and I are eligible for an all expenses paid vacation to Venice and Greece thanks to my favorite insurance company Auto Owners. It's making my 15 hour days and zero personal time manageable... almost. Although, June 2011 still seems incredibly far away. The plus side, we will get to celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary there and I can't think of anything more romantic.

Life has been insane and I can't tell you if it's Monday or Thursday half the time but things are fine. I have so much to write about yet so little time. Our trip to Alaska was great and it was really wonderful to visit the village Mike's parents used to teach at, as well as experience the beauty that is Alaska. Pictures to come soon... hopefully. Right after I post about our March trip to Hawaii :)

I have also been in decorating mode, which has been both a stress reliver and stress causer. We bought a chair I have been seeking out forever, couch pillows I adore as well as a whole new bedroom set, which I am still deciding if I love or not. We also upgraded to a king mattress that has yet to be delivered so we are currently living in chaos and sleeping in the guest room. My back will thank me as soon as it's here though.

Work is crazy but good for the both of us; I just feel that's all we ever do lately. It's also wedidng season both with us celebrating our 3rd anniversary next week and celebrating 5 other marriages of family and friends throughout the month. Unfortunately with our hectic lives, our anniversary plans are being put on hold until July but when you are married to your best friend every day is your anniversary right?!?

No baby news for me yet but I am feeling ok about that today. I may not feel that way tomorrow but I am taking it a day at a time. I want to thank every single one of you who either commented on my blog, emailed me or have been praying. It's amazing to have support of such wonderful people and to not feel so alone in this difficult phase of my life. I know I couldn't have gotten through it without you and your words of encouragement were more important to me than you will ever know.

All in all life is good and I don't have much to complain about. I am really looking forward to July settling down a bit though and can't wait to designate some "me" time I desperately need. Hope all is well with everyone out there in the blog world.

Ciao!